Tear That Butt Up (2017) / Detroit Dirty Show 19
“Tear That Butt Up” is a favorite piece of mine that I created back in 2017 when I received the original message from a guy on Plenty of Fish. I posted this work again after receiving the same message from the same guy the following year in 2018. When I confronted him, he said he must have been hacked (even when I presented him with actual screenshots of his own words). And he even had the audacity to say that I was the abuser in this scenario for using his words without his permission (I guess now they are his words after all?)
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I share this piece again today in 2021 bc not only does it mark the 3rd time this man has sent me nearly identical unsolicited, sexually violent messages (which he categorically denies sending)…and not only bc when presented with undeniable proof, he refuses to concede any responsibility and instead relies on tactics such as gaslighting and DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender) to deflect any accountability…
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I’m also sharing this again today bc of the soul crushing news of Bill Cosby’s “exoneration”. A sexual predator accused over 60 times of rape and and convicted of sexual assault is now a free man because he knows how to play the system built by m*n for m*n. If this teaches us anything, it’s that a m*n’s actions, from sending harassing messages on dating apps, to sexual assault and worse, will always be protected by the patriarchy. No amount of evidence, data, or collective trauma is more persuasive than a m*n’s plausible deniability as well as the systems that continue to protect abusers and deny victims any justice.